No mastodon data scrapers, you may not follow this account. Stop asking.

"New year, new yous" the computer helpfully chimes in my ear as my cloning vat slowly drains.

Skunk furries are pr. hot tbh.

Science needs to hurry up with that CRISPR gene-editing shit

D'ya ever think about how weird attractiveness is?

Like "Hey friend, I find the way your meat eventually arranged itself aesthetically pleasing!"

>"You ever worry that none of this is real? Like you're just a brain in a jar hooked up to electrodes and some sadist is just randomly pushing buttons to make you feel things just for fun?"

"To that I say: don't threaten me with a good time."

"Are you horny or are you just beating your dick for the free endorphins?"

Listen here you...

"So the new chassis seems to be working out pretty well. Carbon-fibre subframe is nice and lightweight, the electroactive polymer bundles look and feel like real muscle, the polybenzamidazole fibers embedded in the skin are basically indestructible, and the nanomachine fluid makes on-the-fly repairs and mods dead simple..."

>"...but?"

"The nanobots got into the ejaculate system, and they're programmed for uh... 'aggressive conversion'."

>"...oh."

They end up getting shot at protecting a protester at an anti-fash demonstration, and, upon seeing that even a teflon-tipped copper jacket 5.56 cannot pierce them, proclaim themselves "A True Son of Odin" and adopt the name Baldr, "...for I fear no weapon shaped by the hands of men."

Someone tweeted about Ned Kelly as an antifash icon and it made me think of a character that sort of just... manifested in my brain one day. A transmasc Korps fanboy with North Germanic heritage and a powerful urge to reclaim Norse iconography from the fascists, whose "...cowardly bigotry offends the Allfather."

So they beg, barter, and steal until they can build themselves a suit of riot armor and shield, such that even the gun-fetishist fashies cannot hope to harm them.

Yes my username is both a dick joke -and- an InfoSec joke.

That's the kind of horny nerd I am.